Our Brains Are Sick But That's Okay
by TheWordsPlease
Summary: Ruby has recently earned a scholarship to enter the prestige college of Beacon. However, after she was in a horrible car crash, one that took her parents, she blames herself for their death. It's been two years since then and she's living with her sister. Her brain is plagued by the memories of what happened and the one who broke her down. Will she survive her mind or drown?
1. Anathema

**Chapter 1: Anathema**

**Ruby**

Ruby let out a soft groan as she laid her forehead down on her desk, rattling her keyboard slightly. _Ughhh why is this so hard? Why did I have to get that stupid acceptance letter. _Ruby sat back up and ran a hand over her face before laying her head back and stared at the ceiling. _We both know why you got that scholarship. Not because you're smart. Only because they feel bad about what happ-. _Ruby let out a sigh and put her head back down towards her screen, blocking her voice from her mind. "Not thinking about that, have too much stress as it is." She mumbled to herself before putting her fingers back onto her keys and began to type away once more. After a few more keystrokes, Ruby slummed backwards and began to read over her letter.

_Dear Professor Ozpin,_

_I'm truly honored to have received the Art Talent scholarship. Thank you and your staff for choosing me, even as I'm just out of highschool._

_Sincerely,_

_Ruby Rose._

Ruby gave a slight nod of approval, but right before she hit send, her door burst open stealing her attention. She quickly whipped her head over, a slightly confused on her face as her blonde hair sister searched the room frantically for her. "Yang?" Ruby asked slightly confused as to why her sister basically tore the hinges off her door. Again. Yang's lilac eyes locked onto her and her face immediately softened, her posture relaxing.

"Oh hey Rubes. Your door was closed and I didn't hear anything for a time and I thought..." Yang shook her head and cleared her throat before walking into the room. _Thought I tried to kill myself again?_ Ruby thought to herself, with a smile on her face. "Whatcha working on kiddo?" Yang said in a more relaxed tone as she walked up behind Ruby, putting her hand on the back of the chair and leaning down to look at the computer. Ruby sighed and slumped down in her chair, pointing at her laptop screen.

"Well I just finished writing a thank you letter to the dean, even though they call him professor, for awarding me with the scholarship." Yang just snorted and gently ruffled Ruby's hair.

"Y'know you don't have to write a thank you note right?"

"Yea yea, I know. I just..." Ruby sighed and leaned forward to get out of the reach of her sister as best she could. She could feel Yang's eyes burning into the back of her head, that same look. The look she gives Ruby every time she thinks she's not paying attention. Pity. _Here comes the "oh you deserved it Ruby" speech. _"I just don't feel like they chose the right person. There were so many better pieces there, Hell mine wasn't even a painting!" Yang sighed and pulled away from Ruby's chair, walking over to Ruby's bed and sitting on the edge of it, putting one leg over the other.

"Ruby. You and I both know you deserved that scholarship." _Yup, called it._ Ruby internally groaned and purposefully kept her vision on the screen in front of her. "You're two years younger than what is eligible for the award and they still gave it to you! That just shows how good you are!"

"Or it was cause they felt bad for the girl who's parents she killed." Ruby cringed hard and bowed her head. _Welp that slipped out, way to go champ, now she really wont let you leave your door closed._ Yang was quiet for a moment, that same look of pity in her eyes, even more know. she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, not knowing what to say. After a moment Yang stood up and glided to the door.

"We both know it was that drunk driver Ruby. You need to stop blaming yourself eventually. If not for yourself then for Mom and Dad." _Oh wow Yang, thanks_ i'm_ cured_ Ruby thought bitterly to herself. With that Yang slowly walked out the door, keeping it wide open. After a moment she peeked her head back in and kept talking. "Uh, how about I make some spaghetti for dinner? Just like old times." Ruby just nodded numbly and sighed as Yang walked away.

Ruby sighed internally and finally clicked send on the message. _She's right, y'know, it wasn't your fault. If they didn't want to go with you to that art show, they wouldn't have._ Ruby nodded a little to herself, she didn't hear that voice in her head often but it was a refreshing change of pac- _That's a lie and we both know it. You begged and begged to go to that show. They just wanted to stay in and you made them go with your horrible art._ There it was. That voice she heard so often. Her voice. Ruby rubbed her face and stood up, closing her laptop. Tomorrow is a new day.

* * *

Ruby sighed and rolled onto her back, staring straight at the ceiling. Of course it would happen again tonight. She turned her head to look at the little clock on the side of her bed, groaning as she saw the time. 1:30 am. _The first day of school tomorrow is going to be great, yaaay._ She moved her hand up and ran a hand over her face, closing her eyes again. Almost immediately the images came back. The screaming, the pain she felt as her body got thrashed around inside the car as it tumbled over and over. The lifeless corpses of her parents. And their eyes._ It's all your fault._ She whispered to Ruby as she held her close and stroked her hair. _That's why no one will love you like I do baby, I only I can after what you did._

Ruby let out a small sniffle and opened her eyes, even as tears streamed down her face. Her mind filled with those burning golden eyes and long black hair. _You're mine to use as I see fit and if you try to leave I'll make sure everyone knows it's your fault._ Ruby couldn't take it anymore and let out a loud whimper, the dams in her eyes breaking. "J-just leave me alone. Please torture someone else's sleep..." She whispered quietly to herself, pleading with her mind to end her torment. _No one wants damaged goods, and that's exactly what you are._ Ruby wiped the tears from her eyes and sat up, grabbing her head and rocking back and forth slightly. "You don't know what's in my head... just stop." _You're still mine, even know, even when I'm gone I still own you. Remember what I said? I'll be back for you._

Ruby turned and quickly turned her lamp on, tears still streaking down her face. She reached into her drawer and grabbed her pens along with her notebook. She flipped to the next open page, all the other having been filled with her doodles and pictures. Once she had the page opened she immediately got to work, drawing lines after lines, shading all over, all the while sniffling and wiping her nose.

After an unknown amount of time Ruby finally stopped and looked at her newest piece, the voices in her head finally content. As she stared down in her notebook she traced her eyes over the girl that looked strikingly similar yet so different to her lay in bed. The girls eyes were closed shut as she lay still, on her back. However, once you looked at her forehead, it was like watching a movie. Where the forehead should have been colored in, there was instead a stormy sea. Waves crashing over one another, rain pouring heavily as lightning struck. One arm reaching up from below the waves swallowing her, calling begging for someone to save her from drowning.

Ruby sighed and closed the book, gently bringing it to her forehead. The tears had stopped hours ago, however Ruby didn't know when. She took a deep breath and pulled the book away, putting it back in her hiding spot before turning the lamp off and looking at the time. 4:10. _Well tomorrow is sure gonna be a joy. _With a sigh the redhead laid back down and pulled the sheets up around her. She closed her eyes and was met with the restlessness of her sleep.

**Author's notes!**

**Hey everyone, it has been a really long time but i am back again to write this new depressed Ruby story for you! So the big thing about this story is i'm going to try to make all the chapter titles the name of songs from Twenty One Pilots! And the chapter correspond to the song. So that's all for now I guess, hope you all enjoy it, i'll try to upload as much as possible.**


	2. Slowtown

**Chapter 2: Slowtown**

**Ruby**

Ruby whimpered quietly as she slowly peeled her eyes open, the lack of sleep already hitting her. The crust of sleep slowly fell away to reveal her alarm clock, 10 minutes before her alarm. Ruby groaned loudly and rolled onto her back, swinging her arm over her eyes. She mumbled softly to herself before her arm slumped back to her side, leaving her staring at the ceiling. Almost immediately the voices started coming back._ Worthless. Broken. _Ruby groaned even louder and sat up, gently rubbing her eyes as she yawned. She smacked her lips a bit and moved her hand over to grab her phone, she needed a distraction. She thumbed through her phone before turning on her music, playing it loud enough for her to hear, but not so loud as to wake Yang.

Ruby sat and stared at her bed as her music played, distracting her mind from itself. A moment later her alarm went off, making her jump slightly and an "eep!" escape her lips. She grumbled and leaned over to turn the devil device off. "Little butthead, scaring me like that." Ruby sighed and slowly slid out of bed, walking to the front of her room to turn on a light before going back to her closet. "What to wear, what to wear.." She mumbled to herself as she looked through all her clothes. _Like it even matters, no one will look at me. Screw it._ With that Ruby reached in and grabbed a set a clothes before walking to her mirror.

Ruby quietly sighed as she slowly dressed herself in casual clothing. A plain black shirt with a red zip up hoodie and black ripped jeans. _Just enough to blend in._ Ruby let her arms drop down to he side as she stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes had dark bags under them and her face looked worn. She tried to muster a smile but all that came out was a ghost. A ghost of who she used to be. The smile fell from her face and her head tilted down. She wrung her hands together before she traced her fingers over her left wrist. Old scars still there, faded but ever present. A constant reminder. _What a disgrace._ Ruby sighed and sat back on her bed. She grabbed her socks and slowly pulled them over her feet. _Can't let my soul fall through my toes._ She thought bitterly to herself.

Yang gently knocked on her door before peeking her head in and smiling at Ruby. "I see you're already up and dressed! There's some breakfast out on the table, pancakes!" Yang said happily before flexing her arm. "I still got the goods on how to make the goods!" Ruby just shook her head with a small smile at her sister's antics. No matter how bad it got, Yang always managed to get at least a small smile out of her.

"I can smell them from here Yang, they smell great!" They both just smiled at each other for a moment before Yang spoke up again.

"So, you remember your schedule?"

"Uhhhhhh" Ruby's brain immediately just went blank.

"That's what I thought. You have your first 3 classes from 9-2 and then don't forget to be at work at 3:30 for your shift okay?" Ruby just sighed and slumped her shoulders. "I know you hate working Rubes but it won't be too hard to balance both work and school! I've been doing it for years now!" _Yea but you're a lot stronger than I could ever be._

"Sure I can't just sleep in? I seem to remember you doing that alllll the time at yet somehow you're at the top of your class."Ruby said with a smirk

"Okay smartass, a girl needs her beauty sleep!"

"Well you're gonna have to sleep a lot longer to fix that ugly mug of yours. Bitch."

"Hoe." Yang just stuck her middle finger up at Ruby as she left her room. "Pancakes are getting cold, i'll see you at school, love you!" Ruby just smiled lightly and stood up. _Let's just get through this day Ruby, you can do it._

* * *

Ruby locked the door and closed it behind her as she walked out. Yang had already left for the day and knew better than to ask Ruby if she wanted a ride to school. Ever since that day, she was terrified of cars. To the point she would get panic attacks just from being in one. Ruby readjusted her backpack before she began the two mile walk to campus. As she was walking, she pulled her Bluetooth headphone out and put them on her head, immediately connecting to her phone. As soon as she clicked play her music began to drift into her ears as she walked, enjoying having her mind occupied. Yang and Ruby lived in a small two bed two bath house in a small subdivision, just outside of town. With yang working a night job as a bartender and Ruby in a fast food restaurant, they're just able to make it by.

As Ruby was walking down the street she stepped to the side as two young kids rode by on a bike, laughing and playing with each other. Ruby smiled lightly as a very old memory popped up in her mind. One she forgot she had. She, Yang and other kids from her neighborhood were all on their bikes riding down the street. Ruby had a stark black bike with red rose petals dotted all around it whereas Yang's was a bright yellow with flames all over them. They were riding all over the neighborhood laughing and playing tag with each other. Ruby was snapped out of her train of thought as the crosswalk light turned green. She hadn't even noticed she came across one but she quickly looked both ways before hurrying on forward.

At this point, Ruby could see the very tip of Beacon Tower, the defining quality of the prestigious school she was now attending. She absentmindedly slowed her pace just a small bit, almost to the point of her dragging her feet. Her head bobbed back and forth to the song she was listening to, a small hum coming from her lips. As she turned her gaze to the side, looking at the small homes slowly turning into a more city state. One of the last homes she saw had an old trampoline visible from the front of the old home. Another smile crossed her face as she remembered how they used to have a trampoline. She and Yang would be out there almost every day jumping higher and higher, their arms stretched towards the sky, a smile brighter than the sun plastered across both of their faces. _Why don't you look up anymore?_

The sudden question almost made Ruby jump, snapping her from her thoughts. That's the second time in twenty four hours that that soothing peaceful voice in her head spoke up, trying to help her, trying to heal her. _Why are you talking to me? It's usually her..._ Before Ruby could get any form of response from her own head she tilted her head up and realized she was right in front of the massive steps that led into the building. Ruby gulped and hesitated for just a moment before she started her slow ascent upwards. She clung to her backpack tighter with every step she took, to the point that her fingers were white once she reached the top. Ruby released a breath that she didn't know she was holding as she pushed open the massive doors, immediately greeted by the loud flood of students and faculty alike.

Almost instantly Ruby curled in on herself as she started walking forward. Every person brushing past her feeling like hot lava against her. Old bruises and scratches appeared on her thighs and around her midriff as people kept bumping into her, shining as like beacon to remind her. To constantly remind her. _You're mine. Your body is my property, I'll touch you however I want._ Ruby almost turned around to walk home right then and there but before she could manage she felt her side slam right into someone, emitting a small "oof" from her lips as she fell to the ground, papers raining down around her as her headphones fell around her neck.

"Why don't you watch where you're going!"

Ruby cringed as she looked up, scared she was about to be belittled even more so. As her gaze tilted upwards she locked eyes with the prettiest blue she had ever seen in her life.

**Hey everyone! Chapter two is here and i'm sorry it took me so long. College has started and my brain hurts. Just a reminder cause i don't know if I said this in chapter 1, but I recommend listing to every song after reading the chapter to kind of get some insight into Ruby's mind! Also I love reading all your reviews so please leave them, they give me life! And don't be afraid to ask me questions on PM or on my tumbler, the-words-please. Until next time!**


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